Friday, 25 April 2014

Beginning Again (and again and again)

The leaf turns over and over, again and again with new challenges I've set myself, new and improved goals to achieve, new routines, schedules, to-do lists that will be done. Ought to be done... but often aren't.

My name is Grainne - gronya - for those unfamiliar with Irish ;) I am an almost thirty-two year old evangelical Bible-believing gentile Judeo-Christian. Wife to Russ (37-and-a-half) and attachment parenting SAHM to James (2-and-5-months).

Wow that's a lot of pigeon-holes/boxes to tick, let's add non-birth-control-using, still breastfeeding (though planning to begin a very gentle weaning process at the official 2-and-a-half birthday), partly co-sleeping, struggling with depression, obese and very unfit, insomniac, blog-addicted, junk food/sugar addict and telly addict. The boxes vary on the good/bad/weird scale.

Let's see now, I love to organise but not maintain systems, I'm quite extreme, all or nothing and not so good at moderation alas. I am a clutterbug and am learning to like that about myself as I unearth treasures of my youth to enjoy once again. I long to be practical, know my whereabouts and demonstrate a modicum of common sense but continue to be handless (clumsy and non-dexterous), geographically challenged (within my own locale, my actual world geography knowledge/trivia is fairly good) and fairly insensible at times (brains but no common sense is the familiar phrase used to describe me).

I strive always to learn and grow and enjoy knowledge acquisition, quizzes, interesting debate and conversation, documentaries, reading, writing, crafts (though my ability is questionable), decorating seasonally, singing (poorly at best but with great gusto and my biggest fan James requests "more wongs" constantly).

My great love of children's literature has been passed down to my son who leafs through book after book and inveigles his way onto many a visitor's knee with storybook after storybook. Words are a passion, I love how they feel as you speak them - melancholy, arbitration, philatelist, lexicographical, phenomenon and fallacy are the ones that spring to mind but that list has changed already.

I love to people watch, especially my husband and son as they laugh and play, giggle and read together. I love to hear them chatter to each other.

I love my bed and sleep and lie-ins and quiet, middle-of-the-night-expeditions through the rabbit holes of the internet as my beloved and my baby sleep alongside me. I do however wish I could join them in semi-consciousness.

I want to be greener, more outdoorsy, healthy (thinner and fitter), better at managing my emotions, household chores, and time. I'd prefer if I didn't eat my feelings and if I liked to exercise instead of nap. I'd like to be better and do better but the leaf is turned over and over again and perhaps this will be the time the changes stick or perhaps not and then I'll need to start again.

We shall see; in the meantime, once again, the leaf turns...

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